We need some assistance in understanding Kindergarten rules and confidentiality laws here in Japan. We are an American Family living in Yokosuka. We have 3 children, a 14-year-old son and twin boys that are 3 years old. We moved here 2 years ago and enrolled our twins in a Japanese Pre-school. The school has constantly told us that our boys were wonderful students and were very well behaved. They have praised our sons for their kindness and Japanese speaking ability. About 6 months ago, one of our twins started crying and yelling "NO School" when it was time to get ready for the bus. This happened every morning. We called the school and asked if something had happened, maybe an argument with another student or a bully. The school assured us that nothing happened and everything was "perfect". Our son's behavior continued and we continued to ask the kindergarten. However, we were always reassured that everything was "perfect", and that the boys were happy. Finally my husband and I felt that maybe we should start looking for another school. We felt that this school had a need to keep all the parents feeling like everything was always perfect at their school. However, having 3 boys, we know that nothing is perfect everyday, all the time. When we started looking at other schools, the school told us that we were not allowed to look. Well, being American and being accustom to shopping around, we felt that we had the responsibility to look for a school where our son would feel more comfortable. The school in a sense was bullying us into staying. We gave notice to the school 2 months ago and were forced to stop immediately because the school said they were not comfortable with our sons, now that they would be leaving. We have looked at other schools, however yesterday I found that that this school has been calling all the other schools in our area to find out if we are sending our boys there. We were hoping to enroll them in the school near our home, but after talking to their previous school, they felt that our sons would not adapt since they did not speak Japanese. A completely different version from what we know and have been told by their previous teachers. We are now afraid that we will not be accepted at any school because the previous school is calling everyone. Another family we know, received the same type of pressure from this school, but they were Japanese and communication was not an issue. Is this legal? We are not sure what to do now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hello,
first of all, my deepest sympathy, reading this makes even me upset, just imagining that would happen to my daughter. If this is legal - a hard question to answer since so many things we could never think of are somewhat actually legal here. If I was you - I'd probably first go to my ward (city hall) for some advice. One thing: Is this pre-school public (free of charge) or private? In our case; it's a private one (paid); and we have to pay for the whole year, even if my daughter suddenly would be unhappy there (luckily not the case so far) and we'd have to take her out of there (also if we go to our home country for 3 months, we still have to pay the monthly yochien fee). In this case; it might be a money issue. I also believe that "usually" Japanese pre-schools don't take children during the year, but you have to apply already in winter (sorry forgot the exact month) to get your child enrolled for the following march. So- as sad as it is- this part might be legal. But I also do know that you're not the only case of bullying -and other parents get their children out of schools/ pre-schools because of that. Usually then, they end up "home-schooling" (Japanese as foreign kids). I've never asked myself that question actually if they do because no other school would take them? Well; hopefully not.But anyway, I believe there are some great homeschooling groups in Tokyo; we live in the countryside; here something like this doesn't exist unfortunately; trying to get some information about this could be helpful; another option surely would be an international school where the people should be more understanding...but as I said before; go to your ward office first. I think they're the ones who handle all these school affairs. They'll tell you what's legal or not, that's for sure; and hopefully, you'll meet someone friendly and helpful there who'll give you good advice. One thing is sure: You don't have to leave your children at that school. And I don't think that school is (or should be) allowed to call other schools. Maybe your ward can call that school and tell them that, since like this - you never know - other Japanese pre-schools around really might not enroll your kids even the next year. You need an official to speak to that school. Don't give up before you found one who's determined to help you.
Sorry if I cannot be of more help - it's just what I'd do - all the best of luck; from Susanne.

By Susanne Erbeck Habiro on Tuesday, June 28, 2005 - 12:21 pm:
Hi again,
oops, sorry, completely overread the "Yokosuka" part. Don't even know where that is. If it's somewhere in the countryside as well; I'd still do the same thing; don't know about your Japanese speaking ability but if it's not so good, take a Japanese person with you to translate...apart from that; I'd do exactly the same thing as I wrote before (I will, in case that happens to my daughter, especially when she starts school). Good luck again!

Hi Stephen,

Susanne pretty much said it all, but actually, I recieved a personal email from a member requesting an opinion from me. I'm no specialist, but an ordinary Japanese mother in Yokohama, and I can think of several options;

1. (You've probably done this already but) ask other parents about your son's behavior at the pre-school. If they say that they or their children see no problem, then maybe your son is happy there after all. Maybe it's something that can be easily solved without having to change his environment.

2. You mentioned something about communication. If that is the problem between you and the school, you can hire an interpreture. Ask your local ward office or city hall to see if there is any free interpreting service. Yokohama provides some for interpretation situated in public organizations such as hoikuen.

3. As for general child care problems, you can discuss them to the many public and private counceling services available. Again, ask at your local ward office or city hall for details. Yokohama provides counseling in various languages. I'm sure Yokosuka might have something similar. If not, you can always try calling the Yokohama shiyakusho (city hall), which also provides foreign language counseling for law matters.

4. If it so happens that you are related to the U.S. Military, I suppose you can ask for assistance there as well.

At least if the story is true about the school contacting other schools to avoid accepting your child, that sounds like something that should definitly be prevented with the help of a another power.

I hope your children gets the proper education they deserve.

Good luck!

While I can't comment on what is "legal" or not, it seems that non Japanese who do opt to send their children to local schools have a difficult time. I have heard this from many friends in the areas of Yokohama where many foreigners live. It seems to be stressful for both children and parents. In this respect Japan is very different from other countries where local schools welcome children and even offer tuition in the local language. Stephen, does your 14 year old son attend a local school as well?

Hello,

Thank you all so much for your suggestions. Yokosuka is on the southern tip of Japan in Kanagawa Prefecture, about 10 minute train from Yokohama. We are not military, but we are SOFA Sponsored. My husband works on the Navy Base as a Special Education Teacher. However, we are completely immersed in Japan. All of our friends are Japanese and we have very little contact with base except for my husband working there and we do take our Japanese friends on base to shop. So, I really don�t know whom to contact on base regarding this Kindergarten (Sobu). My Japanese is limited, however my children speak Japanese at an intermediate level. Actually this is the first fluent English conversation I have had in 2 years with the exception of family. J

We spoke with our Japanese friends about Sobu Kindergarten and they told us that sometimes this happens, meaning a Kindergarten will become spiteful when you remove your children. Our twins no longer go there, we stopped sending them at the end of May, after Sobu wrote us a letter and told us �if you are looking at other schools then we feel uncomfortable to continue to teach your children�E The school we were hoping for (Iwato), told my friend and translator that they had been called several times by Sobu and that they were aware that Sobu was calling other schools as well. Iwato suggested that we look in secret to avoid any further calls from Sobu. Sobu is a private kindergarten, so yes we paid. Our friends also told us that this was highly unprofessional, but that it does happen sometimes.

We have been here 2 years and have never thought about returning home. We love Japan and have been welcomed most graciously by our community. Not a day goes by that the neighborhood children don�t come knocking for our children to come and play. We have found Japan to be warm and honorable. This is the first negative experience we have had.

There are no other foreigners that I know of in my area. So although the schools find this behavior of Sobu calling to be crazy, they are now apprehensive in admitting foreigners without an extensive trial period of 1 day a week until next April. However, I am afraid that such a limited amount of time will reduce my son�s Japanese language. I know there are other ways around that, I could hire tutors or send them to language school, but I guess I just find that frustrating since this is all due to Sobu�s resentment for us not continuing with them.

Is there anything I can do to prevent Sobu Kindergarten from sabotaging our prospects in searching for another school? Can I file a complaint with the Yokosuka City Hall, Infant Education Division? I don�t know the proper way to handle this here in Japan and I don�t want to disrespect or cause any irreversible damage.

Thank you so much.

Stephan, I am sorry to hear that. I cannot believe what Sobu has done to you. That is so unprofessional. I guess you can file a complaint to the ward office. Stephan, I assume Sobu is only calling up private Yochien in your area, but not the public Yochien. You know, the public Yochien is different from Hoikuen, and usually they are located in the local elementaty school. As long as you are paying local tax, you should be able to send your kids to public Yochien. Most of them accept kids in September if there are space. You can get the list of public Yochien from ward office. I think some of private ones are very conservative and crazy about keeping good reputations.
You might find the pubic Yochien more easy going and comfortable.
Good luck!

Dear Stephen,

Have you actually contacted your City Hall at Yokosuka in any way? If so, how did it go? You have to start somewhere and if you are familiar with the Infant Education Division or just feel that it's the right place, you should go ahead and ask them if you can send a complaint or ask questions to them. If it's not the proper place or way, I'm sure they can guide you to an alternative.

I also found the International Relations Division, Mayor's Office from the Yokosuka City's official website. It says they accept questions and opinions.
http://www.city.yokosuka.kanagawa.jp/e/kokusai_e.html
The City also has a format for accepting questions and opinions in Japanese.
http://www.city.yokosuka.kanagawa.jp/feedback/index.html

For anyone having any inquiry or opinion or complaint about life inside Japan, I would suggest them to contact their municipal. That's where you start, you have to start somewhere, and they can tell you what to do if that's the wrong procedure.

And while I have no knowledge whatsoever about the Military, if your husband works there, perhaps he can ask his manager or the administration section to see if they provide any sort of consulting or interpreting service etc.. I think that any work place has some kind of aid, small or large, for their workers.

That's the universal rule for workers. Ask your boss or administration.

Actually, if I were you, I might do the consulting and inquiries first, and once everything is completely settled and everybody is happy for the moment, I would send the complaint for future's sake. This is to be on the safe side and to avoid unnecessary battle that might block your way.

Don't hesitate to rely on your translator friend either. You can always pay your friend back by doing favors.

Meanwhile, solely for the sake of your children, try not to be too upset. You say they have friends coming every day, and that is the best education they can get at their age, in means of language and mentality. A lot of Japanese children don't even attend pre-school until age 4. There is no need for you to be impatient for that part. Also, is your son happy now that he is no longer in a situation to say "no, school"? If so, I wouldn't really rush him to go to another pre-school.

Btw, let me get this straight. You were hoping to have your twins re-enter to a kindergarten called Iwato, but Iwato cannot accept them for some reason, so you need to find another kindergarten which is not either Sobu or Iwato, am I following this correctly? If so, why is Iwato refusing your children? Is there any chance they can get you on a waiting list of some sort? Also, you seem to have a lot of Japanese friends and you even have one who can translate. What do they say to your questions you have posted here? Do they have any ideas for you? I'm saying this, because I'm sure they know more about the whole story than we do, therefore may be able to give a better advise.

I truly hope you can find a place that you and your family can be comfortable with. And I do think it's very unfortunate that schools, at least in your district, are apprehensive in admitting foreigners. I suppose they are trying to play it safe in fear of some language barrier, but as long as the municipal provides a good bridge, they shouldn't be worrying about that at all. Perhaps you can write about that to your City as well, and request future assistance that can work between foreign parents and schools. (If they don't have a good one yet, that is. Because here in Yokohama, teachers don't even know that our city has interpreting service.)

your children's Japanese skills will be fine if they spend the summer playing with neighborhood friends.

You are carrying on correctly I think except for the filing a complaint with the Ed Dept. at City Hall. Maybe a small discussion where you bring up your problem but a big public complaint would not lead to a positive outcome for this interpersonal problem.

I've heard that it is possible to run into the same difficult situation if you try to switch hospitals/ doctors in the middle of treatment. (i.e. the doctors or someone calling other hospitals to spread the word that you are a difficult patient or whatever). Keep in mind that this is not something reserved just for foreigners. The difference is that Japanese are more aware of this risk and proceed very cautiously when they want to make a change like this, often fabricating a story about convenience or moving house or whatever as the reason behind making the change, and of course doing it secretively.

If there is any chance that you know another family at a school which you are interested in, then they might be able to express a good word on your behalf. That would probably be quite helpful.